There’s a question that every parent asks.  There’s a topic that every parents wants help in with their children.  There’s an inquiring mind that wants to know what the best method with the best results.

“WHAT’S THE BEST WAY TO DISCIPLINE MY KIDS SO THEY WILL BEHAVE, MIND AND ACT RIGHT?”  Or something like that…..

As a parent of 3 who doesn’t have it all figured out, I find myself in the same boat struggling with how to discipline my children in a way that will work.  I definitely have figured out how NOT to discipline my children the right way.  But what is the right way?

Well, I want to offer a STATEMENT…..a few RESOURCES……and a few closing THOUGHTS today.

STATEMENT-  UNDERSTAND THE HIEARCHY OF PRIORITIES IN WHERE YOU GET YOUR  SOURCES
I believe the order of resources for disciplining your kids is in this order:
Scripture from God’s Word
Biblically based books on Child Discipline
Godly peers or influences that you know

The Bible is full of Scriptures about discipline.  I want to list those and ask you to prayerfully read these, finding principles, commands and mandates for you as a parent with your child:

Proverbs 6:23; 10:17; 12:1; 13:1, 24; 15:5,32; 19:18; 20:30; 22:6 22:15; 23:13-15; 29:15
Ephesians 6:4
Colossians 3:21
Hebrews 12:5-11

There are also some great  Biblically based books on Child Discipline that are out there.  Here are a few I would suggest:

The New Dare to Discipline and The New Strong Willed Child and Bringing up Boys by Dr. James Dobson
Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp
Having a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours by Dr. Kevin Leman
Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker, M.D.
Parenting Beyond Your Capacity by Reggie Joiner and Carey Nieuwhof

There are also some Godly peers or influences that you know that you can lean on for great advice in how to discipline your children effectively.  Match what they say with the Bible so that you know you are getting the right advice.

My closing thoughts are these 3 statements…..
Every child is different in the way they are disciplined but every child needs to be disciplined Biblically, appropriately and regularly.
Every child wants, needs and craves structure, authority and discipline whether they admit it or not.
God has given you the ordained right to be your child’s primary disciplinarian in their life.  Don’t abuse that mandate but accept it as your responsibility from the Lord.

We have something exciting to tell you about!  We are having a free concert for you and your family on October 21st in the Children’s Chapel!  Randall Goodgame will be sing songs from his Slugs N’ Bugs album plus much more.  The concert starts at 6:30pm and please email jennie@newvisiononline.net with the number of people coming.  Please come out and enjoy some fun music for you and your kids.  I mean it is free!  (We will be taking a love offering that night to support Randall!)  Looking forward to seeing you there and Don’t forget to email jennie@newvisiononline.net!

Go to www.slugsandbugs.com to learn more about Randall’s music.

Here at GROW Children’s Ministry we always talk about the color Orange!  Not because of UT (Roll Tide), but because we believe it represents the church and family working together.  You see, we go to this huge conference every year called Orange Conference (Click here for a picture of Michael, Aaron, and myself at Orange Conference)and we have read this book called Think Orange by Reggie Joiner.  One of the things they teach is that yellow represents the church (light of the world, called to spread the Word, etc.) and red represents the family (heart of our every day, passion, etc).  When the two come together, you get Orange!

We know that the family has more time and impact than we can here at GROW Children’s Ministry, which is why our strategy statement is “Partnering with families to reach and raise this generation for Christ.”  We want to partner with you and help you be the spiritual leaders for your children.  Keeping all that in mind, I wanted to give you a little encouragement because I am a new dad and I get scared when I think about leading my child spiritually.  But in Think Orange, Reggie points out that every family has rhythms of their day.  He suggests we use these certain times to talk about spiritual things. Click here for the Rhythms of Families Diagram.

He bases his thoughts on Deuteronomy 6:4-7.  Moses is addressing the Israelites and telling them to love the Lord with all they have!  He then instructs them to write that on their hearts.  But then he recognizes how this will be passed down and it is through the family, so he says “Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”  Moses basically says talk about God in all you do.  Reggie created a model where you can use the times of your day that always happen and bring up spiritual things with your child.

In the morning you are a coach!  Encourage your child, use uplifting words to give them courage before they go to school.  You could even pray over them or with them.  Take a chance to instill purpose in them before they go to school.

While you drive with them from place to place is an informal time.  Use this time to just relax and let them guide the conversation.  Build your relationship with them.  (Look out for things like video games, movies, ipod, phones that can distract from this time)

Meal Time is a great opportunity for you to direct the discussion.  Ask questions that can begin an opportunity to teach.  You can use God time cards here or the parent cues (you can get these in our weekly newsletters).  Maybe they have had a hard day and you can teach them about what they can learn from the day.  Sometimes you can just ask fun questions and hear everyone’s answer.  You could use The Family Dinner Box of Questions!

Bed Time is that sweet time where you can counsel your child.  You are in their turf and often they feel safe.  You get the chance to listen to the heart of your child!

Reggie even developed an app for iphone and droids called ParentCue that can help you!

We are praying for you!  You don’t have to do all of these…maybe try just one?

Love – Adam Nunley